Boats & Places ('you' is Nyai)

Feb 18, 2007

I was in all of these regular dreams, I knew I was dreaming, but I let them go regular to see where they went.

 

There were boats.

The first one was not a boat, it was something else that this guy had, but it was in a shop of some sort, on horses, like he had been building it. I don't recall what it was to him, but it was just like a lapstrake boat hull.

 

It was over painted white, with a blue line where the water line would be, and a red line near the head rail. I was looking at it, and said that it would be great as a boat, and move through the water so well. And that a small wheelhouse on it, it would be perfect for one person to live in.

 

He was sort of chuckling at me, because he found it funny that I would see that in this other thing he was making.

 

Then I was at MacMillan wharf, in p-town. But I was on another wharf and could see macmillan over ---> there.

It is this place where I find myself often, and it changes, but I feel it the same.

 

This same non boat was there, but now there was another guy who was with it. And it was a boat.

He had it on an anchor, then a line, the boat, then another line, which tied it to someone elses boat, which was tied to the pier.

 

But it was not working, because the water movement, and the sand movement, and then the wharf movement. It was making the lines tight, and that kept pulling the boat under, but it would float up again, because it was wood and that made it float?

 

I saw it go under, where it looks different under water, it looked just like it would under physical water. And he was asking me what could be done to stop it from going under, and then we were talking about lines, and movement, and how the boat and water went find together, but the line tension was off.

 

I was saying to him, that the anchor was his, he could put it where he wanted, and did not need to be tied to the pier even.

Then the boat went under again, and he dove down, picked up the anchor, and was holding it on his back, because it was big, and small. But he did not know where he would put it yet.

 

Then I was in the water too, and I put out my leg for him to sit on, because he and the anchor had no weight in the water. I would do that with my kids when they were small, and then he could sit with the anchor and decide where to bring it without sinking. I was thinking, why not just loose the anchor, and lines...

 

And then I was in this house, which was made from old ship boards, and was also over painted white. That over painted white seems to happen often...

There was another guy there who was like some way fatherish, but not like my father, he was some other way, but had that 'father' feel.

It was dis jointed to me.

 

There was a girl from the internet, not one I have seen, but she had found me somehow, and I was not so happy to have her there. She apparently felt she liked me, and that I was going to be close friends with her, but I was going somewhere alone. I was not interested in doing the close friend thing with her, and she was nice, but...

 

The guy there I could not place. It was sort of like his house, but it wasn't, and I could feel him as linear...something I could not mesh with, and I was getting myself ready to leave, and he would be doing these things, but at the same time he was not doing anything. He was moving around using the space, but not actually doing, like he was not really there.

 

I was walking in this house, and the guy was sitting reading, and the girl sitting on a chair or couch, a regular one in a set up living room the way they are on tv, she was smiling at me when I went by, and I got the feeling of something social I did not want to be in.

 

It was sort of surreal, and I was going to get my blanket and the jade disc, because I would bring them with me.

 

I recall thinking that maybe you could find me, it was not a word thought, it was like a sideways map of street lines not on paper, because you knew the address. And then I knew it was not the address for this house, and maybe you would find me better where I was going, which was somewhere clear, not covered with surrealness. It would be easier because in the clear place there is not anything to see around. There are no addresses in this clear place.

 

Then I was there, in the clear place.

It looked like the dunes, but there were other plants, and the clear feeling, I could breath it, the stories were all washed away. I was alone, and I felt the clear in me too.

 

I sat down, and I could feel the pouch in my hands, the leather, how it feels so soft. It made me laugh, because we did not need rooms and houses to find each other, I could feel you all around me in this clear place.