The Sugar Bowl Noise... (RC is my daughter who was just 8 at the time)

May 31, 2005

This morning I was pouring sugar into a crock. We use raw sugar, so it's large granules, and I keep it in a stoneware crock. It sounded a bit like a smoothed out version of TV fuzz, or rice pouring. RC was standing next to me and got frightened by the sound. She covered her ears and told me that she didn't like that noise. She said it was the noise from her dreams when she makes noise and calls out saying "no, I don't want to..." in her sleep.

I have asked her many times what she was dreaming when she did this, but she couldn't remember. This popped the memory for her. She talked to me for almost an hour (I had to cut her off so I wouldn't be late for work!)

She was very animated. She said the noise was a greyish/whitish place that was all fuzzy, (I asked her if she could see this place, or if she was in it ) she said that the noise makes her go there, and that there is a hum. Now she is standing in front of me rubbing her hands lightly together to create the fuzz sound and humming, I think the note G. She says that the humming is there just like that too. Then she says she doesn't like going there because it's scary...there are other people there, and when you go you feel like you are on top of them, like you might land on their head or something, but then you cant touch them because there's this much space (she holds her hands about 6" apart) between everything. "It's like I'm trying to hold on to them and I can't touch them and I'm just floating but I feel like I'm going to fall because I can't balance. But I can't touch them because they are this fast (she rubs her hands very fast, and keeps doing this while she continues) everything is so fast like this, and I'm so sllooowww (and she does it slow with her voice and her hands) so if I try to touch them I just would slip off. I don't like it there, but I can make myself go there if I want too..."